I work hard so they don't get the information I know about my past so they can't judge me or feel pity...so I don't have to see it in their eyes.
Mirrors and people's eyes...they are the same...
Will they accept you?
Can they understand the feelings of fear or total doom that you felt as a child and how sometimes something can trigger that same feeling today?
Can they understand that you still know and carry some pain around with you...part of it comes from the comfort- as it's what you know...some of it comes from the fear of letting it go and feeling positive feelings that you have always wanted to feel, but are afraid of finally feeling what you have so longed for.
Can they understand that you need someone to be there for you when you can't tell them because you don't want to come across as weak?If someone really loves you can they know about the abuse and accept you with all your flaws and insecurities?
Yes, someone can love you after knowing all about your past. Your childhood abuse was not your fault and anyone who blames you isn't worse your time. I have been married for almost 39 years to the same wonderful loving man who loves me in spite of the incest that I suffered thru as a child and in spite of the issues that I still have to work thru today.
ReplyDeleteEye contact - I understand your fear and you are not alone. You are brave to speak out and share your voice. I had previously written "survivors rarely look anyone directly in the eyes or have a tendency to look at the ground because at times it can be too painful to see the world around them."
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Patricia. It's not your fault and you can be loved for who you are! Continued success to you on your journey of healing!
@Patricia yes someone can love you and love you thru the work of surving and living now. You are blessed to have found that someone. That acceptance makes a difference. Thank you for reading my blog and sharing your thoughts.... We are not alone and your response show s that. Much love to you!
ReplyDelete@Faith I love you statement "survivors rarely look anyone directly in the eyes or have a tendency to look at the ground because at times it can be too painful to see the world around them..." thank you reading my blog and sharing your thoughts... We are not alone.