Sunday, August 7, 2011

Can’t Reach Out

I can’t reach out today
Not that I don’t want to anyway
For my past is the reason why
I never learned to reach from inside
I’ve tried to reach out … oh yes I have
I’ve wanted to reach out and be heard oh so bad
But demons… Yes, that’s what they are
Are afraid you will see my scars
Don’t want to be judged for feeling scared
Want to be held and feel cared
Afraid you will reject that which I’ve felt so long
Why? Cause you have never experienced my song
The melody I carry inside continues to show... but sometimes hides
I am hurting and it’s not my pride
I wish for arms big and strong to hold me
A chest to lay on and a space to be me
For I have fallen…. for just a short time
It happens every once in awhile
Each time I figure it out on my own
Today is no different, I am alone
I can’t reach out…. wish it was safe
But I’m not sure if you can hear my pain
Don’t want nothing from you

Just a moment in time
Time that you would listen to my rhyme
For in my tears and feelings of pain
Is a child that surfaces over and over again
She is an adult... most of the time
But today.... she is a child of mine
Please don’t hurt her as she is trying to learn
If reaching out will mean she gets burned
She wants … No, she needs to cry
She is asking for you to be by her side
Hold her for just a moment in time
For she will grow up to be an adult of mine.


  1. I hear your pain and I am by your side.
    I spent yesterday nourishing my "child" inside.

    Today I listen to your rhyme,
    while surviving one day at a time.

  2. @Faith, I needed to be heard and you heard me... God Bless

  3. I remember when I first started to learn how to listen to my inner child, I felt lonely, out of control, PISSED that I had to take care of myself. I wanted someone else to do it. I was angry that I didn't get that loving mother or feel that security. I wanted someone else to give it to spouse, my friends.....anyone but me. Sometimes I still get that way.
    But I've learned when to ask others for that support, and how to ask them......and I've learned that by listening to that child crying within me and figuring out what she needs.

    Healing is PAINFUL. You are where you need to be...just know that it does get better!

  4. @Veronica, thank you for reading my post and commenting. I have /am learning not to look outside for the things that I can really and truly only find inside me. Sometimes though in moments of severe intense stress my inner child surfaces and her wishes and needs come raging to the forefront... Thank you for responding and letting her know she is not alone.

  5. So sad yet so beautifully put. You are not alone now, and you can express your pain freely. i am so proud to have come to know you.

  6. I feel your words so strong in my heart.

    Healing is hard work - but you are doing it. You are DOING IT! You have courage and strength, even on the days when you don't feel them.

    Thank you for sharing this with the blog carnival against child abuse.

  7. @Jan
    I thank you so much for posting here... and being my twitter friend. You have come to be someone who is making a difference through your words.

    I thank you for reading and I am proud that I had an opportunity to share on Carnival Against Child Abuse. I only want to be heard and to share with someone else as I am a true believer that by doing that you never know if your words can make a difference in someone elses life. If I can just touch one person and they then know that they are not alone .... I feel i have done a wonderous thing.... Thank you for sharing on my blog.